Small Walking Mannequin: I Wish I Was Dead

Now that I'm sixteen, it is as if the universe decided that my life would suddenly become exciting. First, my birthday party, then a Grease Sing-a-long show, a play I had to see for Drama, later this week I went to see Metric with my sister and yesterday I partied with my best friends. All of this in one week. Seriously, what's happening! Why do I suddenly have a life. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but it's weird that turning sixteen made me feel so different. Usually, the change comes gradually, but this year BAM! I'm older and I'm treated like an older person.

Other than being grateful to be sixteen, I went to Expozine again this year and I realized how normally I have started to dress. At school, I'm considered borderline normal and outside my school, in the normal world, I'm average. People in High School seem almost scared to not fit in, so they dress ordinarily. Not everyone would agree about this, but that's just my opinion. They influence my choice of clothing, therefore I haven't really been creative lately. So to come back to the fair, I was walking around and I noticed that people there didn't seem to give a fuck about what people thought about their appearance. They liked what they wore and that's it. While walking around I kept seeing this girl who wore these kind of moon boots and a huge, furry trench like coat that went down to her ankles. She looked totally deformed, but someone it looked amazing because her body language seem to say "I don't need someone to tell me I'm cool, 'cause I think I'm cool in my own way." It seems to me as if confidence is the key to a fabulous outfit. I would like to pick up that confidence easily, but they don't seem to sell it in stores. Therefore, I will need time to develop my self-esteem and simply figure myself out.

I hope this made sens to you. If it didn't that's fine too.

Dark Paradise-Lana Del Rey